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What’s that smell in the air in Tampa these days? [Sniff] yes, yes, definitely it is an emotion that is thick in the air. [Sniff] I can’t tell if it’s a smell of optimism, skepticism or fear. Maybe it is a combination of all three at once. Optskeptafearism. That must be it, a new hybrid human emotion exclusively acquired by those who follow and are fans of the Lightning. Whew! I’m glad I figured that out quickly, it was starting to smell like cheese.
I suppose you can’t blame Bolts fans for not really knowing just how to feel, what with the resent crazy whirlwind that has ripped through the entire organization and all. Just how in the hell are Bolts fans supposed to feel? They were the laughing stock of the league last season. Have a weak and depleted farm system. Watched their team draft a glutton of forwards when everyone knows it is the backend that needs the most help. Under a media blitz, witnessed the team usher in a new ownership group, hire a train wreck for a coach, sign a slew of free agent forwards some past their prime, sign a declining goaltender, ask your best defenseman to leave town, replace the front office and re-sign your best player for $85 million. To top it all off have one of your new owners, obviously hopped up on Flintstone Vitamins, publicly declare that your “new look” team will indeed win the division.
"What the deuce?" (Read out loud in your best Stewie Griffin voice and cue a Family Guy flashback montage) "I haven’t seen a circus this bad since the one on Wang Island where a pot-smoking monkey on a unicycle was giving advise to the front office staff."
Was that a bit too much? Oh well, let’s just blame it on the coffee and move along.
The levee has to break at some point. Don’t you think? They are going to have to unload some of the new stockpile of forwards to shore up that disturbingly weak defense. Don’t you think? I mean they can’t really think that this roster will win the division. Right? Come on, Bochenski? Hasn’t he been in something like six different uniforms over the last three or so years? Gratton? Recchi? Roberts? Halpern? Who will they unload to try and plug the gaping holes on defense? Well, the way things are going, don’t be surprised if in all of their infinite wisdom they decide to trade away one or more of their younger forwards like Craig or Ouellet or Tarnasky. Now won’t that be nice. Just who could you get to shore up the D? For a best-case scenario look to swing a deal with Carolina or Vancouver.
No matter how you look at it, things in Tampa still smell a bit funky and will continue to do so under the hot Florida sun until something gives way to at least get fans leaning more toward optimisism than skepticism and down right fear.
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