LETTING THE COFFEE DO THE TALKING

Seems like the coffee is dictating my thoughts once again this morning along with giving me the sensation of feeling my hair grow. I don’t expect anyone to understand that statement unless they too have more caffeine than blood in their system. In which case, seek help before it is too late, you really don’t want to be in my situation. Which leads me to the point I’m attempting to make – can’t think straight – brain flooded with too many thoughts – having trouble with order and organization skills – fearing complete meltdown. With that said, please forgive me if today’s post sounds like - I’m talking like I have a paper asshole – like a screen door with a busted hinge just flapping in the breeze – it is just the coffee talking. Really. Now that you’ve read my disclaimer, I will shake the rust off of my Andy Rooney impression and throw my scatter-brained thoughts your way. Oh, lucky you.

You ever notice that Joe Thornton tears up the league during the regular season and runs out of gas somewhere in the middle of the 2nd round of the playoffs?

Ever think it would be great to see Rick Nash getting an opportunity to play with players on his level?

Have you ever wondered how good the Bolts would be if they would have been smarter about how they spread the payroll around?

Is there anyone left who views Sergei Fedorov as a top tier player?

You ever notice the size of Barry Trotz’s head makes him look like he has no neck?

Ever wonder if the Wings would look as good if they played in a tougher division?

Am I the only one who thinks that Shea Weber will one day win a Norris trophy?

Does anyone outside of Bruins management really think Glen Murray is still a 1st line winger?

Will there ever come a day when Ilya Kovalchuk won’t feel like he has to do it all by himself?

Ever wonder what the Senators would look like without Spezza and Heatley?

Will this be the year that Ovechkin scores 60 goals?

Has anyone thought about who on the Sabres roster will fill the leadership role this year?

Am I the only one who would love to see a Penguins vs. Sharks final?

Ever wonder how tense a poker game between Mike Keenan, John Tortorella and Andy Murray would be?

Will it really shock anyone if Chris Chelios is still playing when he’s fifty?

Is it just me or does Dave Tippett really look like Elliot Gould?

If I was granted one wish I might be tempted to use it to give Gaborik a bionic groin.

Speaking of groins, will that be Sidney Crosby’s Achilles heel?

Speaking of heels, which team will sell the farm to get Forsberg on their roster for the 2nd half?

You ever notice that Ray Ferarro’s teeth seem to be too big for his mouth?

Is it just me, or does all of the tough talk that comes from Don Cherry seem strange when his wardrobe looks like he should be leading the annual parade in Northampton, Ma?

Will this year’s Ducks mirror last year’s Hurricanes?

Ever wonder if Barry Melrose’s hair is really a helmet? (think Ming the Merciless from Flash Gordon)

When I look at Canucks logos throughout history, I’m left wondering if there are any art schools in Vancouver.

Is there a better role model for kids in today’s NHL than Joe Sakic?

Speaking of kids, will John Tavares burn out before he’s 30?

Ever wonder if Olli Jokinen will ever see playoff action?

Will there be a better rookie this year than Washington’s Nicklas Backstrom?

How long will we have to wait for the Hawks to name a captain?

Ever wonder how many times the King’s players will sit through a “Good cop – Bad cop” routine this year with Crawford and Lewis at the helm?

Is it just me, or is the best thing about the Islanders bench Ted Nolan?